How Many Poodles and Lollipops Does It Take To Renew A Traumatized Mind?

The picture you see here is a clue about how much effort it has taken to tear down, root out and purge the mountain of toxic thoughts that were planted in my mind during many years of childhood sexual abuse. It has taken a lot of work to learn to engage the dunamis power of the Holy Spirit of God that has been responsible for my healing from severe dissociation. The outcome of the process has been worth every moment of what has been a dreadfully steep and painful learning curve!

There are two scriptures that have been my pillars of hope during my journey of overcoming homelessness and learning to engage the power of God’s word to heal my shattered thought life. 

“For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord, plans for hope and a crafty, bright future!” Jeremiah 29:11 ~Loosely Translated~

“I intend to break the yoke of suffering from your life so you can enjoy your life… and I will do it through the power of MY presence in your life!” Isaiah 10:27  ~Also Loosely Translated~


One of my favorite teachers about our thinking process is Dr. Caroline Leaf. I have found great hope, comfort, and encouragement in her teachings, and am very grateful for her knowledge of mind/brain science that she shares so freely!

The knowledge I gained from the teaching in her video is hidden in the details of this very colorful depiction of what it feels like to do the work of a “neuro-plastician!”

I’m a graphic designer, and my heart lept when I was first drawn to the circular trees like the ones you see in my picture. (no pun intended!)

My understanding of Dr. Leaf’s teaching about lollipops and poodles can be clearly seen in the details of my artwork when you understand the significance of her instructions to “learn to take our poodles for a walk.” 

There are many poodles and lollipop trees in my artwork, and the sheer volume of them is an indicator of the lengthy process it has taken to reclaim my thinking and heal my injured mind/brain connection!!

Much of my artwork is filled with poodles and lollipops, but my “Aha!” moment came as I was listening to this particular video. You will see what I mean when you listen to it for yourself!!

I turned to the internet when I was initially diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder, but the answers I needed were few and overwhelmingly academic in nature. I remember how desperately I needed to know what “was happening to me,” and that is part of the reason I am sharing this story with you today!

  • If you are what’s known as a “multiple,” my hope is to provide comfort, hope, reassurance that you are NOT crazy, and to share information with you that has taken 25 years to be cultivated in my own life.
  • If you are in deliverance ministry, my intent is to share details about the critical need for understanding the complexities of arrested development when conducting deliverance for someone who is dissociative.
  • If you are the child (or grandchild) of a “multiple,” I would like to assure you that YOU are not responsible for the recovery of your parent or grandparent, and the best way you can “help” them is just to LOVE them unconditionally and guard your own heart in the process!!
  • If you are a mental health care provider, case manager, social worker, therapist, or first responder who deals with the complexities of providing care for those who are dissociative, please accept my heartfelt thanks and gratitude for your courage, compassion and willingness to step into the very challenging arena of triggered emotions. It’s not easy for either of us, and I am grateful for the calm presence of the many health care providers who have shown great compassion during my own times of need.

I will be discussing these issues in-depth in my upcoming workshops, but for now, my goal is to help raise awareness about the harsh realities that are an everyday occurrence for anyone who is experiencing unresolved trauma associated with childhood sexual assault.

Healing from that level of pain takes time, strategic intervention, and great compassion from everyone involved. I have had to learn to extend compassion to myself, but I am making great strides in my own recovery.

I vividly remember the desperate need for someone to talk to, and the comfort that God has extended to me is the reason I am sharing my story. This is the word of my personal testimony, and I pray you find hope and comfort in the words of my stories.

Thank you for joining me again today, and I will see you again soon!



The God of All Comfort

3 Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, 4 who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. 5 For just as the sufferings of Christ overflow to us, so also through Christ, our comfort overflows.  

 6 If we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which accomplishes in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we experience.  7 And our hope for you is sure because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you will share in our comfort.

II Corinthians 1:3-6



“We are made in the image of a thinking God…” ~Dr. Caroline Leaf~

RECOMMENDED VIDEO:   Through Her Eyes, The Sower and The Seed

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